Genesis 2

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24

As far as I can tell, this is the first time the word mother is mentioned in the Bible. And it’s basically to point out that it is a temporary thing. The verse could just as well say, For this reason a woman will leave her father and mother…

I think about what defines who I am, and the two things uppermost in my mind now are medicine and motherhood. Both have so unnegotiably transformed my life, are so inflexible. Both demand a lot. But I think more about what this passage is saying, and I realize the two things that should define me are God and my husband—two things that are not inflexible, most of the time not as demanding, but the two things that will last the longest. Marriage, for this lifetime, and God for eternity. God first, as the one who created me; D second, as the one to whom I am given.

This passage also brings to mind what it means to raise E as a woman. Right now I feel so connected with her. She was a part of my body and came out of my body; when she breastfeeds we are literally still one flesh. When she is naked with me she feels no shame. But she was not created for me. Woman was taken out of a man’s body, was created for him, and this is part of her purpose for existing. For a man, for Christ.

So to be a mother is to understand what it means to let her go. It is understanding for what purpose she was originally created, as a child of God, and as a woman. It is preparing her for a healthy marriage, by praying for her potential husband, by having a healthy marriage myself. It is giving her to Christ, because He will be the one who will be with her forever, not me.

And for myself: it is hearing the demands of God, and my husband, more than I hear her demands upon me. Which is practically difficult, but in principle important. I guess the more important things are often the harder ones to do.