Communication

Communication is magical. It’s like being for years with someone who is completely mute, and suddenly they start signing and talking. Or as if an alien who is visiting from another world, where all the rules are different, suddenly starts speaking in your language. A light goes on and you realize, my goodness, she actually understands what I’m saying! I’m not just half-talking to myself anymore!

She spoke her first word today. We were playing on the floor, where she was crawling around on top of me, and suddenly she paused, looked right at me and said “mommy.” Of course I couldn’t get her to repeat it.

But it’s more than her starting to make decipherable sounds. She’s long been obsessed with fans and clocks, but now when we ask her where one is, she’ll stop and point to it. She shakes or nods in answer to questions. I can ask her, “how do you say ‘more’?” and she’ll sign it. Tonight before bedtime I was teaching her to say “sleepy,” and she copied me by laying her hand against her cheek and tilting her head to the side. When I tucked her in she lay quietly on her back with her hand against her cheek as I pulled the blankets up.

On the flip side, she can get extremely frustrated when she’s trying to tell us something we don’t get. She’ll point to something, and I’ll keep handing her various things in that direction, and she’ll keep shaking her head “no!” “no!” and sometimes I never end up knowing what it was she wanted (once it was a cup of water half-way across the room).

It makes me think about how lazy I get with communicating, particularly with those closest to me. I assume my husband, and God, should know how I’m feeling, what I want, sometimes without explanation or context. Most often when I talk it is to talk about myself, or to ask something for myself. E reminds me that communicating is a fundamental need and not something to be taken for granted. It takes time, familiarity, listening and watching. But when done well, it’s probably the highlight of parenting, of marriage, and of being with God.