Journal Excerpt

I lifted a watermelon today and realized it didn’t seem as heavy as they usually do. I must be getting buffer, I tell myself, what with carrying around a 20-some pound thing all day. She looks small for her age, but it’s all an illusion. High density. Unfortunately all this pregnancy weight is obscuring any visible change.

One of the things I like doing nowadays is just watching her. It’s interesting and makes me think I should just stop and observe more things in my life. Even though she speaks mostly in Chinese, she can give the English words for everything she says if asked. She is scared of shadows, thunderstorms, headless Lego men, and the troll doll’s buttcrack, but doesn’t mind bugs or lizards. She likes directing general activity, documenting what everyone is doing (“grandma potty”) and telling everyone where to sit. She unfortunately likes to watch intently while I try to poop which makes it impossible for me to actually do so. She has a good sense of order but no sense of proportion, repeatedly attempting to put things where they obviously can’t fit. She can count from one to ten but always leaves out four and six. She appears genuinely distressed whenever someone else is crying. She actually likes to share with other kids, especially food, though sometimes she wants it back after they’ve already eaten it.

She treats me like a human jukebox. I suppose it’s only been two weeks since this started happening, but it feels like much longer. She’ll demand I sing different songs, sometimes one repeatedly, or a new one as soon as I’m one line into the old one. Current favorites are “The Hokey-Pokey” (“hokey song”), “You Are My Sunshine” (“baby song”), “You’ve Got The Bare Necessities” (“Mowgli song”), “Father’s Hunting In The Forest..” (“Mowgli song- the other one”), “April Shower” (“Bambi-small-deer song”), “This Is The Way We Wash Our Hands” (“bath song”), “Leaving On A Jet Plane” (“airplane song”), and this does not include all the Chinese songs and rhymes that my mom has taught her and then I’ve had to learn.

She’ll typically have one song she wants while I’m holding her before bedtime, and a steady stream when we’re in the car. And really all day long. I’ve tried airing new tunes because I get so tired of the same ones, but really, what song does anyone want to sing twenty times in a row? (a short one, but then she just asks for more repetitions)