1. A band-aid, preferably a porous one, must immediately be
applied to all hangnails. The band-aid must cover the posterior cuticle but not
the anterior two-thirds of the nail bed.
2. Band-aids must never contact water.
3. Boogers are an emergency. They must be extracted in some
fashion even when too far back to be visible from the nostril.
4. No door to the house can be open for more than a few
seconds to prevent the possibility of bugs entering the house.
5. All bugs within the house must immediately be killed.
Personal visual confirmation must be obtained that they have been manually
crushed.
6. Pajamas are acceptable wear for any outing.
7. Formal dresses are acceptable wear for going to sleep at
night.
8. The blanket on the floor of her room must be flat with no
visible wrinkles.
9. Most numbers in the world—how many stories can be read
before bedtime, how many stuffed animals can be brought on a trip, how many
bites of food must be eaten—are negotiable and can be changed through clever,
mathematical bargaining.
10. Anything that has a peel must have the peel completely
removed before it can be eaten.
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