It’s been a long time since I’ve written. So long I’m almost
not sure where to start.
It’s been a hard winter for us. Dee-dee is basically
perpetually sick, in continuous cycles during which he manages to infect the
entire family, till we’re all dropping like flies. Once he threw up a couple
times, and boom, I’m in bed with the worst GI bug I’ve had since internship,
lost to the world for four days. Last week green snot started to run down his
upper lip again and boom, I get a cold so bad I stay up nights trying to
breathe and lose my voice completely.
As a side note, an interesting discovery I’ve made since
losing my voice is that E does not actually require answers to her now-endless
series of “why” questions. Typically I try to provide accurate, scientific
answers. If I have to guess or don’t know, we go into a discussion about the definition
of faith (this topic is very disturbing to her. “I have to know the answer to
everything!”). Today I discovered that while she will repeat her question about
five or six times if she can’t hear a response, she’ll eventually start to make
her own guess and then move on. “Ma-ma, do fish have gums?” “Do fish have
gums?”… “well, everyone has gums, whether they are old or young. Teeth come
from gums. Fish have small teeth, so I think they have small gums.” Etc.
A less exciting discovery I’ve made is how badly he takes
being sick. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde. He turns from a smiling baby happy
reading books in a corner by himself into a screaming ball of tantrums. He
kicks and flails while I hold him, but if I put him down cries harder while
holding onto my pant leg, tears mixing with snot and drool and his whole face
getting so puffy and red I don’t know if I feel bad for him or mad at him.
Work has busied to the point where I’m seeing forty patients
in five hours. D has gotten busier at work, directing two districts with
high-profile events and endless meetings. We continue to host weekly small
group, lead missions and outreach, and play for worship at church. It’s a lot.
And when we’re all sick, when the kids are not themselves and I’m not feeling
myself, it’s hard. I’ve been able to do some processing lately, which maybe I’ll
write about more if I get the time, but mostly just trying to take it day by
day.
