It is the one-month mark, and I have suddenly begun to feel more myself. I don’t remember emerging from the post-partum black hole until at least six weeks last time, so I’m grateful. For some reason I suddenly feel this urge to clean the whole house and furnish and decorate it properly, but D tells me that’s not important and just to take it slow. It’s like I suddenly woke up from a very long slumber and realized the bathroom counters haven’t been cleaned in a month.
I also feel my body becoming more familiar, like a rubber band returning to form after being stretched out for a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself, like I’d be pretty happy staying this size, until I tried on my old jeans for the first time. Major mistake. Was I really that skinny before? What was I, a stick? Did I have no hips? Was I human?
My wardrobe is a mess, full of maternity clothes that are now too big, some maternity clothes that sort of fit, and about three sizes of regular clothes. It doesn’t help that the clothes I feel like wearing are all regular clothes in the smallest size. Or that the ones I end up wearing are all sweat pants. So to celebrate feeling well enough to go out, I went and bought a pair of boots. At least my shoe size has never changed.
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