House Search

I feel lately like I’m living in an HGTV episode, and I’d like to turn the channel off for a bit. It’s been an exhausting roller coaster experience. I’m figuring out what’s important for me, then for D and I, then factoring the strong opinions of our parents, in-laws, friends, siblings, and realtor, all of whom mean well but none of whom are able to think for us completely. The last time I felt like this was while wedding planning, except a wedding is a tenth of the cost and leaves you with a few artsy photos on the wall rather than toilets to scrub every week.

I’m nearly completely fed up with the realtor industry. I mean, on one side, how annoying must a job be when your entire week is dictated by the whims of a potentially indecisive, picky couple who may not even buy anything? On the other, how annoying is it to not be able to see a house unless you go through some potentially opinionated, inefficient person who is naturally motivated not entirely for your interests?

Part of the difficulty are all the scenarios. There is our dream house, which would probably be some sprawling, airy ranch out in woodsy horse country. There is the suburban house that would most fit us for the next twenty years, which everyone seems to be saying is some huge place in an upscale neighborhood. There is the suburban house that would fit us just for the next few years to buy, and another to rent. We’re leaning more and more towards the latter, which I’m hoping will give us more time to figure it all out, without the pressure of worrying about resale value.

For the first time I’m coming up against what everyone perceives as the standard of living we should have, or will want. The buzz words “two-physician family” have been thrown around so much by pushy realtors that I’m starting to wish I’d never heard it. I’m just not there, and not sure I ever want to be. I have this strangely stubborn antipathy for anything that could be termed a mansion. I don’t want our kids growing up in some neighborhood filled with luxury cars and kids with a ton of toys. Maybe I’ll change my mind after we have a boatload of kids, but I hope it’ll be for the right reasons, and not just because we have the money to do it.

I think I’m at the point now where I’ve seen too much and am back to figuring out what’s most important. A place close enough for D’s long commute that I can see him more each day. A place close enough to my parents for our kids to readily be around people who love them. A down-to-earth, family-filled neighborhood. A place structured such that the kids can run safely around and we can be comfortable. The rest doesn’t really matter much. I think. That’s good to remember.